The mighty mother with her hundred arms [entries|friends|calendar] Natalie [ website | myspace ] [ userinfo | livejournal userinfo ] [ calendar | livejournal calendar ]

[20 Jan 2008|03:39pm] So my mom chose him over me. Meaning she asked me to move out. I don't know where I'm going to move out TO, but I have to. I can't believe this... 6 eithers +/o or

[12 Dec 2007|10:03am] I've got some serious love for these ladies. 5 eithers +/o or

[08 Dec 2007|12:10pm] Fuck dude. I like him too much. or

[10 Nov 2007|12:59pm] This is me hustling it... ... Oh dayum!!! AHH!!! Hehehehehe. Why do I post this shit?! Hahaha. Didn't get home until 6am this morning, oh what!!? or

[07 Nov 2007|05:54pm] God fucking damnit! For some reason I came home from school just a few minutes ago super fucking pissed off. I don't know how to deal with this shit! This is so annoying! I'm not used to this, and I definitely don't like it. I'm cold and shaky and upset and my stomach hurts and I feel like puking. I really don't want to be played. I really really don't. 3 eithers +/o or

[06 Nov 2007|08:27pm] Yay fr girl time! ILOVEYOUCUDDELYWUDDELYALYSSA! 3 eithers +/o or

[04 Nov 2007|05:11am] oh my god. oh my god. oh my god. just hot home. friends call me tomorrow, or today. 6 eithers +/o or

[03 Nov 2007|12:37am] I thought writing would be therapeutic, but I'm too depressed to write in this stupid thing. I don't know what's going on. I really do want to be single, but this dude makes it really hard to want to be that way. Why am I drawing to guys that are so far away? This isn't fair. I just want a normal relationship for once. I've cried over a guy maybe... twice. Seriously cried, I mean. I'm a tough bitch, I don't get upset over relationships. But man, this is killing me. The thing that fucking sucks about it is that I am normally not the girl who could potentially be fucked over. It's a weird situation. We were amazing friends, that have always kind of dug each other - but I always had a boyfriend. He liked this girl a whole lot, of course I always give him girl advice. He leaves for the Army, she doesn't really give a shit about him.. But I write him and send him anything he needs because he is so fucking worth it. I even told him, if you still dig her I don't want to try and start ANYTHING with you. Of course it would be inhuman to stop liking someone all of a sudden, no matter how awesome I am! Hahaha. I just don't want to be dropped after how much I've done. Especially for some girl that hasn't even had the decency to write him a few words. I haven't talked to him all week (he's at boot camp), I know he chooses to call me over her, which is great! Fuck this is shitty, I'm not going to compete. 1 eithers +/o or

[16 Oct 2007|04:23pm] Work at 6pm. I don't want to go. I hate my job. All the girls I work with are fucking retarded mexican ghetto bitches that are completely brain dead and cut throat for no reason. Oh I'm sorry you hate your job! But at least you have one! There are so many people that would love to replace them and actually be appreciative that they had an income. I need a new job, seriously. This is bad. Anyway. I have my car back! Hang out! 3 eithers +/o or

[07 Oct 2007|06:35pm] Worst fucking day ever. FUCK. So before I started my new job today, my mom asked me for the only money I have ($400 to go see my friend Matt who is coming home for Christmas break from the army in New York) to go towards my car. So upset. I got a job SUPER quickly to pay back almost $2000 and she asks me for pretty much the only thing I have left to make me look forward to the future. Without car problems, without debt. To her that is reasonable, to me, a struggling dirt poor college student.. that is EVERYTHING. So now that I probably have to end up spending double on a plane ticket in a month or so - I MISS MATT'S CALL FROM BASIC TRAINING BECAUSE OF MY FUCKING ORIENTATION. So not only am I stressed about my mom being an insensitive douche, BUT NOW I miss the only phone call I would have gotten in two weeks. I am so upset. I can hardly keep it together. 2 eithers +/o or

[28 Aug 2007|11:04pm] Less than a week until I am back home for a while! Of course I can't go easily.. I'll be working pretty much every day until the 5th. Fun shit! Big party when I get back? I think so! Anyway, I hung out with Robin and Monica when they came up to Portland. It was awesome! I'm really excited about having girlfriends only a few minutes away. Uhh no exciting news besides that... 2 eithers +/o or

[16 Aug 2007|10:39am] im coming home to visit again! sept. 5-17? i think... but yeah! awesome! 5 eithers +/o or

[06 Aug 2007|11:21am] Happy birthday Elliott. :) 3 eithers +/o or

[27 Jul 2007|10:10pm] Last updated... four weeks ago! Yes! Life = Busy. Busy = Stress.. which equals me being super sick. Awesome! So my trip to California a couple weeks ago was pretty fucking retarded. I (as most of you know)... got to see my friends ONCE the entire trip. This was the cause of family drama and shit that I don't even want to get in to. But for those of you that called and stuff, I'm sure you know who's tires to slash. :) Uhh, school doesn't start for a while.. I'm excited to go back so I can stop Nordstrom's slave labor. I want a new job but new jobs are way to hard to find in this city. This city gets me down sometimes - a majority of the people here are really pretentious. Surprisingly they all hate Portland, I don't know why but people here LOVE complaining. I don't know, I guess I complained a whole bunch about Orange County too. But shit man! It's annoying. Well...as it is impossible to make friends here (aside from work friends)... I've been spending my time running, doing pilates, yoga, reading... Booorinnggg. I need to come home soon and have some real fun, man. I'm super excited to start HP! I haven't started it yet, dang ittttt. 7 eithers +/o or

[24 Jun 2007|08:34pm] WOW my life is boring sometimes! I can not WAIT to come home. :) I miss you guys... too much. 2 eithers +/o or

[06 Jun 2007|10:33am] Oh man, I haven't updated in such a long time! So this is second to last week in school and I'm more than ready for it to be over. Although school here is much more tolerable than it was back home, I'm exhausted in every way possible and ready for summer. I think I work too much, I go to school full time and work practically full time too. It sucks, man. It really blows. I feel like I've worn myself out and I haven't even started my REAL profession. What is that about? My mom said she'd help me out if I was really in need of a break, so I think I'll take her up on that offer pretty soon! In other news, I'm going to be working at M.A.C soon! SO exciting! I love make up and doing other peoples make up will be a step up than making their coffee! I hate coffee! I can't wait to visit home this summer! July 5th through the 12th! I wish I could stay longer but it's not possible - Nordstrom Nazis. I really miss my friends, I miss you guys so much you don't even know. In this big city I can hardly find ANYTHING to do, but I know if you guys were here we'd be having SO MUCH more fun! haha. visit me! Until then, I need some friend making skills. I don't have the highest confidence, so I'm having trouble finding friends. It doesn't help that I can hardly relate to anyone at school, and I'm not very good at starting up conversations with strangers. It also doesn't help that everyone I meet tends to be SUPER boring and uninteresting. What's with these people!??!?! Jesus, god. Anyway, it's been heating up and I'm super excited that I don't have to walk around lookin' like the Michelin man with my big huge jackets and boots. Horray! 5 eithers +/o or

[28 Feb 2007|05:29pm] There is something wrong with me, I need to stop counting calories. It is really getting out of hand again. or

[28 Feb 2007|10:19am] It is way too cold outside, man. I am almost forced by nature to buy UGGs or some pussy shit like that. Damn my Californian weaknesses. I really need to get my roots dyed, I look like tailor trash! I'm visiting home from spring break! March 26th until until that next Tuesday... April something. As of now, I have no idea what I am going to major in. It sucks man, people used to be so impressed that I was SO sure about what I wanted to do. But now I'm not really sure if I want to constantly struggle for money as a high school art teacher. I'm not even that great at it, so what's the point? I am thinking really hard about it, and I know I love art history and maybe working with the preservation of ancient architecture would be an amazing field... But the only thing that is holding me back is the constant thought that I am not smart enough. Anyway, I miss my friends! I can't wait to see you guys. :) 3 eithers +/o or

[31 Jan 2007|05:16pm] I haven't updated in quite a while! I'm currently in the lunchroom-esque cafeteria area. It's pretty, boring... Anyway, Portland. Portland is magical! :) I.. like my classes for the most part. There are a few, like Women's Studies that I would be fine and dandy without. I'm doing okay with the whole being away from home thing. That part isn't getting to me too much. The fact of the matter is, my home is my home. And Orange County is where my family is, and I'll always have a need to spend SOME time with them. The feeling is quite interesting, I knew from a young age that my future would reflect a lot of independence and an early beginning. It's just an interesting feeling the separation from it all. It's not that I don't like it, because I really do love it. I love making my own rules. If I had to pick out one thing that I didn't like about Portland, something that shouldn't bother me... it would probably be the lack of "color". I'm not being mean or anything, but seriously this place is so... white. I always knew the majority was Caucasian, but man.. It's just funny to sit here and know that I am the only individual that is Hispanic in my entire eyes view. It's cool though, it's just weird to see that it effects no one else. Whatevs though, I guess Orange County is as diverse as you get on the west coast. 7 eithers +/o or

Portland [08 Jan 2007|11:45pm] I started school today. Every class was pretty tolerable, except for Women's Studies. That class is... lets just say its 3 hours and 50 minutes long. That long with some crazy ass feminist is just insane. Don't get me wrong, feminists are great. And although I fully support and live out some of the key characteristics that they they believe in... I love being a lady! I like make up, I like making my boyfriend dinner, I love feeling... feminine? That class makes me feel that feeling that way is wrong. Maybe I should wear Birkenstock's and cargo pants the next time we meet for that class. I don't know if I can give up my Mac eye shadow brush, and fashionable leather boots, though. So I say, hell no! I love being who I am. I am an independent, self satisfied at times... and mostly against patriarchy... But I'm going to keep baking shit for my man! Haha, shit. Anyway, besides that... school is great. Joseph is great! These two years of waiting have really paid off. I love where I live. I just need to make some new friends, none that would compare to the ones I have now... But you know? 5 eithers +/o or

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